2216 hours
1st July 2006
Choices, choices, choices. Some are petty like limau ais or sirap limau ais.
Others involve huge life-changing peculiars like should i walk all the way around the white sandy beach or have an adventurous walk in the lush green jungle. Alhamdulillah, ditakdirkan, i had that chance masa the recent holiday trip. But i was numb, indecisive as always.
If i walk by the beach, yes and what a beautiful beach it was. So perfect, not one thing was wrong, god painted. The beach breeze. The sky so blue you could stare, and not at the same time. puffy white clouds dancing up above. Friends had went ahead, screaming joyfully.
"D, hurry up. U wudn't wanna miss the waves do you babe? Cepatlah!"
"Sat sat. i need to think. pergi dulu yeah."
I was loafing by the fire,now only crackling after the morning's breakfast.
How does one decide?
I stood up and head for the jungle. Barefooted, mind you. And alone. But the sun inside the jungle was awesome. Dari langit, the rays hit the leaves straight down to brown ground. God painted, it was. And shone. Next thing i know i sampai a beautiful small waterfall. Dari Edenkah? Whoaw, it was amazing. beautiful. Felt like i was in the Hang's zaman. maybe it was the batik. twas the only thing i was wearing. maybe so.
After skinny dipping sekejap, i walked on. Was nowhere near the camp site, i was far deep into the jungle. With the slightest idea where i was, i walked on, not back the same way i came but on, deeper into the jungle. I played with butterflies when i reached to what looked like a meadow out of Bambi. 17 black leaches had my arms and legs. I scattered aroung the bushes and raced with a monkey. It was absurd, but it felt good. It felt....too good and it was true. Who says too much of a bad thing hurts?
After i returned it caught me thinking. I chose the jungle because i didn't know what was waiting for me. Exciting! The beach wud've been great but it was too normal. Too usual. Too common. People didn't tell stories about jungles, they spoke about beaches. Exciting? hilanglah when u know exactly what to expect. safe, yes. guaranteed, yes. But it doesn't bring the adrenaline, when ur heart beats a million beats per minute. Ur blood pumps and the heart feels like it has taken over that place up where the brain use to be. So it commands.
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN by ROBERT FROST
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
listening to : Emotions by Mariah Carey
